Monday, December 5, 2011

Too Sweet

Why oh why do they give citrus flavors
on an empty stomach?!  Gag!  =/
My blood, that is.  Yep, I failed my two hour glucose tolerance test and have now been officially diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes Mellitus (GDM).  Not so sweet.  Now I get to prick my finger multiple times a day and worry about what I'm eating while also worrying about gaining enough weight to keep PB&J healthy and happy.


The funny thing is, I'm no longer craving sweets like I used to, well, pretty much always.  In fact, if I were to think of something I'd want as a midnight snack it would be a burger or cheese or a cheeseburger - pretty much anything full of protein.  Those are my only cravings.  The sweetest things I've actually been loving are fruits - mango, pineapple, pears, you name it.  My absolute favorite, ice cream, has been passed up several times these last few weeks for fruit or cheese!  So go figure.  


Unfortunately, by failing this test, I felt as though I'd failed PB&J somehow too.  I know I cannot control these things and I fall into several of the high-risk categories, but everything has been so healthy up to this point that I just hoped it would remain that way.  Now it's all different.  After I learned the results Friday morning, I was deflated and sad the rest of the day.  I couldn't stop feeling that I was entirely responsible and I just put my babies at risk.  It's taken a couple days for me to clear my head and realize this is just another small hurdle, but nothing that cannot be dealt with and not such a big deal that I should let it affect my mood and elicit so many fears.  I meet with the dietitian on Wednesday and the Nurse Practitioner (NP) on Thursday, so between the two hopefully I'll get the required tools and information I need - something more focused for me and not just the general information I know from school and my field.  


The unfavorable aspect of this is the conflicting information I'm getting.  The NP we met with at our first OB appointment made some comments to us that lead us to believe she's not thinking of this pregnancy any different than that of a singleton - she actually told me it would be okay if I lost weight throughout this pregnancy!  A big red flag to us both.  We're hoping we don't find the same from my actual OB.  Then there's the awesome dietitian that works both with the Moms of Multiples and Sweet Success programs, who basically told us that I can control blood sugars with meds if necessary, but it's too important to gain the necessary weight with multiples to try and overly control my food intake.  I'm more apt to listen to her because she does work with both programs and definitely knows how different the needs can be with a twin pregnancy.  It doesn't make things easier though because as a nurse, I know the importance of controlling blood sugars and I know what the risks can be to a fetus, but mainly when there's only one - not two.  And I'll admit, my focus continues to change the further along we get in this pregnancy.  PB&J's health is becoming top priority and I want to do everything to ensure they get the best start in life!

On a totally different, happier note, Christmas has finally landed in our home.  We normally get our tree and decorate the entire house the weekend after Thanksgiving, so we're a little late, but who cares ... it's finally here!  It's so exciting to have the sparkling lights and festive decor around us again.  I love this time of year!  And while I find myself excited about the current season, I have to admit, I find my mind wandering to the future and trying to imagine the joy we'll find when we have a couple of little ones to enjoy it with as well.  Just amazing and so damn sappy.  I'm blaming it on the pregnancy.  


O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
Du kannst mir sehr gefallen!

4 comments:

  1. So sorry the 2hr glucose came out with less than favorable results:(
    Hang in there the best you can and you are, in no way, shape or form, a failure to PB&J! Throw that thought right out the window! :) The tree is beautiful!

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  2. Ugh. Sorry to hear you have to worry about what you're eating and also worry about eating enough! I hope your team can help you find a good way to walk that line (and still get cheeseburgers when you need them!) Your tree is lovely!

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  3. Sorry about the glucose. I'll tell you this...G also has gestational diabetes and you learn that it's more about the carbs than anything else. And I can tell you once you understand everything it will come with ease.

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  4. Thanks everyone. It was a bit of a rough weekend, but I think we'll be able to figure it all out and make it easy on all of us. Easy is definitely what I'm hoping for! lol

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