CD1

You know what that means, don't you?! Yep, that's right - we're now officially onto the pre-IVF prep. I'm so ready. Called the RE's office today to find out about the prescription for BCPs and found out I don't need them until CD3. Thank goodness. I was so afraid of being delayed a month because I couldn't start those silly pills on time. Momma B even tried to barter with my sister for a couple of her BCPs in exchange for some condoms! After a day of wine tasting, it was quite hilarious but we also forgot to actually make the trade - wine isn't good for the memory. It's too bad too, we would have picked out some fun condoms!

Still waiting for a call from the IVF nurse to get the schedule figured out, but I left her a message this morning so I'm sure I'll hear from her soon. I'm ready to give them my money - somehow that will make it feel more real. Perhaps just having that schedule set will do it too, I don't know yet.

I'm trying not to get too excited and set my hopes too high, but it's too late. <3

RE fabulous!

We had our appt with the RE on Monday and it was fabulous! Dr. M is so laid-back and down-to-earth. He broke down our options in detail and was so patient with all of our questions. We *heart* Dr. M!

Okay, to backtrack a bit, I got a phone call on Friday from the insurance company to find out they had closed my file because Momma B works for one of a few awesome fertility-friendly companies that will approve everything without constant authorizations. The RE's office is still a little skeptical, but they're willing to go along with it.

Initially I had told Dr. M we weren't ready for IVF just yet because for some reason I really didn't think Momma B was ready for that ... turns out, she didn't realize how lucky she's had it and how much her insurance covers. (I don't want to come across as boastful, but I do have to say we're extremely blessed because it's made this entire process so much easier and less stressful. AND makes us finally feel like success is within our reach!)

I'm jumping ahead of myself ...

As Dr. M discussed each step of the process from less to more involved, Momma B and I just sat and listened. Since I'd taken IVF off the table, he didn't cover that, but thank goodness for Momma B ... she wanted to know all about it. And that is where the light bulb turned on. Discussing the process and then the numbers she looked at me and asked, "why wouldn't we do it?" I was so shocked, I didn't know how to respond. I was thinking more IUIs with different meds, then we'd see. BUT the numbers spoke for themselves. IVF, strangely, turns out to be far more cost effective. And, let's be honest, that's a big part of this process. I want children, yes, but I don't want to dig ourselves into a hole along the way. 

So Dr. M talked us through it and every word starting spinning around in my head. It was all too much to take in. Before I undressed for the ultrasound, I just looked at Momma B and it was all I could do to keep from breaking down in tears of happiness. 

The ultrasound was just amazing too. I hadn't had a chance to see my ovaries up to this point and seeing all those black dots on the screen was a happy moment. Even Dr. M commented on how many eggs were showing up. I was able to calm my head down a bit as I stared up at the screen (which, looking back on it, is a odd time to be calm when some strange man is sticking something up your vagina ... but whatever).

The calm didn't last long, unfortunately, because before we left we sat down with another woman that deals with the financial aspect and she went over the costs with our insurance. Momma B and I just looked at each other and then told her almost in unison, we want to do IVF! My head was in a full-on spin cycle by this point. We decided so quickly, but we just knew it felt right.

So we're done with the IUIs and are moving directly on to IVF. I haven't been able to blog about it until now because it's taken me awhile to slow my head down and let the shock of it all settle. Now the excitement and the possibilities have taken over and I'm ready to go right now! Too bad there's some prep time involved. 

I'm still waiting for the IVF nurse to contact me about our schedule and arranging all the medications, but in the meantime I need to get a prescription for one month of birth control pills soon because AF is due in just a few days. I'll be on BCP for the month of June, so that means July it's go time. OH wow! This is just too amazing. 

In the meantime, I'm reading back into more and more blogs that went with IVF also. Reading those along with medical and fertility websites has helped me feel more prepared emotionally. I have enough Type A in my personality that preparation is a requirement to prevent a mental and emotional meltdown!

IVF we go!  

Insur-ain't-fun!

Being on Momma B's insurance has been a blessing mostly, but this week it's been more of a pain.  Her, er, our insurance has great coverage for fertility - far better than what I had before.  The RE has a wonderful staff that deals with all this insurance stuff so I don't have to do much.  So ... 


I get a call on Monday stating that I have to call the insurance company to get registered to ensure that the RE is covered.  The insurance company tells me registration is optional.  But when I call the RE back to let them know that, I'm told the insurance company may say that, but they often won't cover everything without the pre-approval.  Okay.  


I call the insurance company back to register.  I answer all the questions and get through the interview with flying colors, until ... I'm told I have to have my records faxed to them so they can verify "sperm meeting egg."  Yeah, since we're not a heterosexual couple they have to ensure we've actually been doing IUI treatments and injecting sperm into my body.  WTH?!  So if we were straight, they would just take our word for it??  Frustrating!!  Okay.  


I fill out the HIPPA forms for my former OB/GYN and fax them over.  The records office calls me later that day to tell me they cannot fax them to the insurance company without a name to send it to since it's such a large company.  Really?  With my member ID and a department specific fax number?  Of course, this happens right before I'm supposed to get ready for work - my first night shift in over a month - so I can't deal with any of it until today after I woke up.  Oh yeah, this time he accepted my explanation without question.  

Thankfully the RE is not going to charge me the full non-insured rate even though we're still awaiting approval from the insurance company.  They're wonderful.  And not frustrating.


Ah well.  If this is as annoying as it gets, I'm good!  We're all set to go on Monday.  I'm very excited.  


On a side note: I'm pretty sure I ovulated today.  I haven't cramped this much since I took the Femara those last two months.  Made me smile - even my body is excited and ready. 

RE Round Two

Our appointment is set up for next week.  All my records should be faxed over and, hopefully, everything that needs to be done has been.  Yet from what it sounds like, there is more to come.  I should receive the paperwork tomorrow and will learn more then.  One interesting thing that I still don't completely understand is that this RE requires everyone using sperm and/or egg donation to meet with a social worker.  Not that I mind, I am just unsure why; I think it may just be a prerequisite to ensure those of us going through this process know what's in store?


I wish I did know what is in store for us.  I wish we could've been one of those couples that got pregnant right away.  I wish I knew how many more rounds we have ahead of us.  But these are things that are out of my control and I am okay with that.  There is still excitement in the process.  I still get butterflies thinking of all that lies before us.  


Thankfully, Momma B will be there with me to meet with the RE this time.  I know she's involved and supportive no matter what, but I feel so much more bonded with her when she's there through each step.  Last time I didn't feel too attached to the idea of sticking with the RE in part because Momma B hadn't been there with me to hear the information and interact with the doctor.  This time already feels different and for that I'm very glad!


Momma B and I are still finishing up our home because we get very distracted from the domestic things by the social opportunities that abound here: my family, Momma B's family, our friends ... No matter how much of an introvert I may be, I still can't get enough of each one of them.  I've missed my family tremendously.  I'm enjoying getting to know Momma B's family.  And I'm especially excited to bond more and more with our friends - particularly since they are just beginning their TTC journey.  What an amazing change in our lives.  To have close friends that are trying to start a family at the same time we are is remarkable, we no longer feel so alone in our goals and dreams.  J and N are loving, amazing women and our lives are enriched because of them (and I know the lives of our children will be all the better as well).  

Tomorrow is my first day back on night shift, back on the floor.  I'm so nervous - everything is so different.  I'm also very excited because everything is so different!  There an entirely new aspect of care that I have to learn (postpartum) and, of course, procedures and policies for everything I'm experienced in is not like what I'm used to.  It's a challenge, but I'm ready.  Everyone I've met there thus far has been very friendly and very inviting.  I feel so welcomed already.  Definitely no better way to start.  

J and N drove around with us the other day looking at model homes.  We went to a town that used to feel so far away to me when I grew up here, but now with the way everything has grown it's not so far at all.  We happened upon one model home randomly, but what a lucky find!  It was love at first sight - for all four of us.  I now have a picture in my mind of our goal.  THAT is the house I'm, er, we're working toward!  It's not only a home, but an area that I can see our family begin and grow.  I'm very excited by that, but am even more excited to have something more concrete to work toward.


Slowly, but surely our dreams are coming true.  It sounds so corny to see that written out, but yet it is that simple.  Life IS good.

Happy News

Momma B and I only had to spend one whole, long, distressing week apart.  BUT thankfully just that week.  She started her new position here this week.  We were unsure of how long it would take for her to be transferred ... unsure if we should hold out for a promotion first.  We kept estimating 2 - 3 months, but now we don't have to worry about any of that!  Momma B is here safe and sound ... she also brought some doggies with her.  

Malakai says:  This is our new home, Momma?!

Life is settling in nicely.  I am done with orientation at work and start back on the floor Tuesday.  It's going to be interesting to transition to night shift again.  Hopefully it's easier than it's been trying to get used to day shift.  Getting up so early in the morning has been kicking my ass!  

The good news is we're not waiting until July to start TTC again.  Now that I'm on Momma B's insurance and we have some $$ coming in again, we're ready to get going.  Does seeing our friends TTC journey begin encourage us?  Yes.  It's wonderful being here to support them along the way.  I get excited for them, count the days with them (whether they know it or not), and am sad with them.  It's amazing to see the process through an outsider's perspective.  Does seeing my brother's new baby encourage us?  Yes.  Holding a newborn in your arms is one of the most beautiful experiences and it's even more beautiful when it's family.  Babies are perfect: soft, cuddly, and smell so good.  Did my clock start tick tick ticking away!  But, yes, all of this also makes me that much more excited to start again.  


On the agenda - calling the insurance company to find out which RE in the area is covered.  Finding out if I have to get a referral from my primary physician first.  All the fun stuff.  According to my iPeriod, I have two weeks to get all these phone calls, possible referrals, and appointments done.  I'm hoping we can make it happen in time!  

Happy news.  Happy day!