Tuesday, May 1, 2012

For Reals?!

Today we had another ultrasound.  (To keep the following in perspective, our last u/s was a mere 11 days ago.)  I will preface this by telling you I'm still in shock.

In less than two weeks, J has gained nearly a pound.  He's now just over 5 lbs! - measuring at 34 weeks for a singleton!  However, the true surprise is PB.  I'm not sure I entirely believe it because according to the u/s tech, he's gained nearly two pounds - weighing over 7 pounds!! 

Say what?!  

Now granted, there is an estimated +/- 14 oz margin of error, but even still that means he's at least 6 and a half pounds.  Oh my.  Oh my!  J's margin of error was smaller at +/- 8 oz, but honestly I have a feeling he's a little bigger than measured as his head was tucked so far down it was difficult for the tech to get a good view.  

Not that I'm doubting your mathematical skills, dear readers, but OMG do you realize?! - that's like 12 pounds of babies in there!!!!!!  *le sigh*

I simply cannot wrap my head around it.

Now I know we're only 33 weeks today.  I know PB&J are better off inside than out at this point.  I know bed rest is helping reroute all my energy to growing babies.  I know the problems that can arise if born too early.  I know the risks and benefits.  I know all of it.  But.  Right now, right at this moment, I'm done.

I'm stuck in a bed with little to do and an unfortunate inability to focus on those activities I want to do.  I'm uncomfortable - with a constant pain in my ribs, working harder to breathe, the never-ending swelling, the persistent headaches, waking up every 45 - 60 minutes at night to pee (yes, I keep track!), the night sweats.  My body is not my own and I miss it.  I want to be home.  I want to finally see and hold and smell these dear babies that I can only try to imagine.  My life is in a holding pattern.  Though the days creep by, I feel no forward motion.  Planning, preparing, dreaming - all on hold.

I want some control over the situation, but I have none and have to try and give over to that - make peace with it.  It's not working so far.


  1. You are a serious trooper! 12 pounds of baby! My goodness, can't wait to see those big, healthy boys!

  2. Lots of baby in there!! So proud of you, try to keep your eye on the prize! You got this! XOXO

  3. whoa, big babies! good job, mama!! :)

    i know it's miserable. hang in there...you are SO close!

  4. Go mama! I know things are tough right now but you're almost there!

    Sending good vibes your way :)

  5. Hang in there! There will be a day in the not so distant future when you can lie on your back and be comfortable in any position... It's coming, I promise!

    My twins weighed in at a total 15.5 pounds at birth, so I understand where you're coming from! Soon this will actually all be a fond memory!

  6. My twins were both supposed to be 7 lbs each. One was 6 lbs 11 oz and the other turned out to be only 5 lbs 10 oz. Still, it was over 12 lbs of babies. My poor surrogate was ready for them to be out by the end. Good luck. It'll be worth it.


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